James Potter was my Mosquito
by hipotamus
Summary: "James," Lily hissed. "Why are we in a forest?" James gulped. "So, um, funny story…" As new Head Boy and Girl, Lily and James are left in the middle of a forest with a week to make their way back to Hogwarts. And they're not allowed magic. T for now


**AN:** Lily and James have one week to make their way back to Hogwarts in order to receive their prize, and they're not allowed to use magic. But there's one little problem that Lily's not allowed to squash. James. This story will probably last for 8 chapters, one for each day of their trip. I'm trying to make the chapters a little longer than usual, so update time may take longer. But please review review review! - annie xx

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James Potter is not a big part of my life. In fact he is a rather small and very irritating part of my life. Sort of like the existence of mosquitoes. When they are buzzing around and biting, you want to squash them. But otherwise mosquitoes rarely cross your mind. James Potter was my mosquito.

Until this year.

**ooo**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned and rolled over. What the bloody hell was that.

Beep. Beep.

My brain began to kick into gear and I slowly registered the sound of my ancient alarm clock. Alarm clock. That meant home…which meant. I sat bolt upright in bed and my hand flew to my bedside table. I breathed a sigh of relief as my fingers closed around the small, hard piece of metal. Phew.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"All right, I'm up," I muttered, switching the alarm off and rolling the kinks out of my neck. It cracked satisfyingly and I stumbled out of bed. I looked down at the shiny Head Girl badge in my hand and grinned. Today was the beginning of a whole new year. My last year, and what was going to be the best year.

I took my time getting ready, using up all the hot water in my shower, letting it beat against my back. Petunia would kill me later. It was worth it. Drying my hair didn't take long, a simple sweep of my wand was all it took, and I stared at my hazy reflection in the foggy mirror. I could just about make out my long, dark red hair, and green eyes, standing out against the white of my face. I sighed, an entire summer had passed and not so much as a freckle dusted my nose. It was time I accepted the fact that I could not tan, and moved on with my life. I wiped a circle clear of condensation and looked at myself properly.

I had a long oval face with fine features. My lower lip was too full for the top lip, and my nose turned up too much at the end. My eyes were almost too big for my face, and my ears too small. This was the face of the Head Girl.

I grinned at my reflection as I remembered the letter arriving two weeks ago. The heavy parchment and flowing green writing, complete with shiny new Head Girl badge had caused me to leap into the air with a loud whoop and run around the house shrieking my glee.

"Lily!" My mum's voice broke my daydream and I wrapped my towel closer round myself and unlocked the bathroom door.

"Just getting dressed, Mum," I called down the stairs.

"We need to leave in half an hour! Breakfast is on the table!"

Half an hour later we were in the car, Dad driving and Mum blotting her eyes with a handkerchief. Petunia was still in bed. I said goodbye to my house as we pulled out of the driveway and began the hour's drive to London. I felt tears creep into my eyes, but brushed them quickly away. Not long now, and I'd be on the Hogwarts Express, Kate and Josie back by my side.

**ooo**

Standing once again on Platform 9 ¾ , I glanced around at the mass of students, calling out to each other and kissing their teary parents goodbye. My mum was fussing over the length of my skirt while Dad was taking in the magical platform with wide eyes and a silly grin on his face. He'd been here, twice a year for 7 years now, but the magic of the place never failed to amaze him. I smiled at his wonder and batted my mum away.

"It just could be a bit longer, Lily dear," she said, patting her blonde bob and looking warily around at the other parents. "You are Head Girl, after all." She beamed proudly as she said this, then threw her arms around me and squeezed me tight.

"Cutting off circulation, Mum," I gasped and she let go of me, pecking me on the cheek then wiping the lipstick smudge from my face. "I'm going to miss you so much, darling. Promise you'll write? Every week?"

"As much as I can, Mum. I promise." I turned to Dad and gave him a huge hug.

"Good bye, Pumpkin," he said, pecking me on the head. I breathed in deeply, trying to memorise the smell of his cologne.

"I'm going to miss you," I wiped the tears falling from my eyes, and grabbed my trunk. "Say goodbye to Tuney for me. I'll write as often as I can." Dad helped me push and pull my trunk onto the nearest carriage.

"See you at Christmas!"

A whistle blew in the distance and I waved goodbye until they were out of sight. I breathed a sigh and shoved my trunk along the passageway, glancing into each compartment until I finally saw a familiar face, grinning and waving. Kate bounced out of the compartment and threw herself at me. "Lileeeeee," she squealed, holding me at arm's length and examining me. "Merlin, did you go outside at all this summer? You're as pale as a ghost!"

I laughed. "Shut up and help me with the trunk."

She then spotted the Head Girl badge still clenched in my hand, and the squealing started all over again. "I knew it! We knew it! Just wait 'til Josie sees this, she _said_ you'd get it! Oh, Lily, how exciting!"

We had only just sat down and opened a box of chocolate frogs when the compartment door slid open again and Josie breezed in, her shiny black hair swinging around her face. "Give me a hand, you two, this is bloody heavy."

After wrestling her trunk onto the overhead racks, we sat beaming at each other. I'd missed these girls so much. Kate Eppelstein was short with a blonde pixie hairstyle and dark brown eyes. Her personality made up for her stature though, and if it wasn't for her less-than-exemplary school marks, she would have given me a good run for Head Girl. She was by far the most popular girl in our year and the nicest person I knew. Josie McLachlan was the polar opposite of Kate. She was tall, with long black hair and piercing, haughty blue eyes. Her demeanour could be as icy as her stare if you crossed her, and every boy in school was desperately in love with her. Just having her in the same room was a blow to every girl's self confidence.

"So, respective summers: tell all!" Kate ordered, digging in to the chocolate and propping her boots up on the seat opposite. "I want to hear steamy details as my summer could not have been _more_ boring."

"It can't have been too bad," Josie grinned, flicking a frog wrapper at her. "Ryan came and visited you for two weeks, and you gave us no details in your letters. What happened? Sexy as ever?"

Kate rolled her eyes. Ryan was an old childhood friend of hers, who after losing his puppy fat, had turned out to be devilishly handsome and they had spent the last few summers sneakily snogging in the long summer evenings. "Yeah, well he's not actually as much fun now that he's come out of the closet. Turns out he's known he was gay since he was twelve."

My mouth dropped open in surprise, mirroring Josie's face. "What?" we both spluttered out.

"Yeah, not so steamy after all. It was nice hanging out, I suppose, but half the time I just wanted to snog him senseless. He's so bloody gorgeous, it's just not fair. What about you, Lils? Any summer lovin' for you?"

I snorted. "Not unless you count the occasional pervy glance from my sister's whale of a boyfriend, Vernon. He's repulsive, I don't know _what_ she sees in him."

"And did she talk to you at all this summer?" Josie asked, her thin eyebrow raised over concerned eyes.

"Not really," I said, trying to sound offhand. "I didn't see much of her to be honest. At least she's stopped referring to me as 'the freak'. Now she just ignores me."

Kate saw clearly though my brave charade and squeezed my knee supportively.

"But on the plus side," I began, not sure how to break the exciting news without sounding big-headed. I decided to just come out with it, "I got Head Girl."

Josie shrieked with excitement.

"Where's the badge? Let's have a look then!"

"Pin it to your shirt, come on, don't be shy!"

"Who's Head Boy?"

That was a good point. There were a few possibilities for Head Boy and we discussed them all.

"I reckon it's Remus," Josie commented. "He's such a bloody goodie-two-shoes. There's no way he wouldn't get the position."

"I don't know," I said. "I mean, he's great and all, but I reckon his furry little problem would be…well, a problem."

They shrugged their agreement.

"Merlin, I just hope it isn't a Slytherin," said Kate, shuddering at the thought.

"Yuck, just imagine, Snivelly being Head Boy," Josie laughed cruelly.

Kate cleared her throat and discreetly inclined her head towards me.

"It's all right," I told them honestly. "I haven't talked to Severus since the end of Fifth year. I wouldn't exactly say we're friends anymore."

Just then the compartment door clattered open again and the three most popular boys at Hogwarts entered. They were loved by all, but that didn't mean I had to like them.

Sirius Black was a bullying prat, who liked to make people laugh, even if it was at the expense of others. He was delicious, there was no doubt about it, with his brown hair always flopping into those smouldering dark eyes. He turned every girl's head and knew it, and took full advantage. Rumour was that he had more notches on his bed-head than James had detentions, and that was saying something. Remus Lupin was by far my favourite Marauder. He had friendly blue eyes and sandy blonde hair, and a kind smile for everyone. He'd always been quite shy, but we'd become good friends over the years and he'd even come to visit me for a few days over the summer. I grinned at him and waved.

And then there was James Potter. Just his face alone made me scowl and annoyance fizz under my skin. He was tall and lean, with broad shoulders and long arms. His black hair was in constant disarray and his bespectacled eyes were always full of mischief. He smiled crookedly at me, ran a hand through his hair and said, "All right, Evans?"

I haughtily ignored him.

Oh, and Peter. I forgot about Peter, everyone sort of did. I felt a bit sorry for him most of the time, the way he tailed around after the others, took the brunt of their jokes and let himself be bullied around, just to be considered a Marauder. Poor Peter would never quite fit in, with his scrawny stature and almost rodent-like features.

"Hi boys, how was your summer?" Kate asked pleasantly, always the one to be welcoming.

"Long and dull," Sirius drawled, lounging next to Josie and helping himself to a chocolate frog. I snatched the box away before they could take anymore. I sometimes get a little possessive when it comes to food.

"Well I had a good summer," Remus said, leaning down and kissing each of us on the cheek. "But Lily, we'd better be heading off, Prefects are meeting in their carriage now."

My face crumpled a little. "Oh," I said. "So you didn't get Head Boy then?"

Remus shook his head but smiled. "I'm still a prefect though. Less responsibility. Did you get…" He trailed off as I held out the badge in my hand, engraved with _'HG'_. "Oh well done, Lily, I'm so happy for you!"

His enthusiasm seemed a little forced however, and he nervously looked at James who was grinning up at me with that irritating crooked smile. I looked from one to the other.

"What?"

"Well Evans, you and I are going to have a fun year." In his hand, he held out a small badge. The letters '_HB_' stood out clearly against the silver.

**ooo**

This could not be happening. This simply could not be happening. There was no way in the world Dumbledore would have ever appointed _James Potter_, the James Potter who had landed in thousands of detentions for pulling pranks year after year, Head Boy. It was just not possible. How did this git, who had strived to impress me with his idiocy since we were eleven years old get Head Boy? How many times had I reached into my bag to be met with the slimy skin of a toad, placed their by Mr. James Potter? How many times had I been publicly humiliated as he yet again announced his undying love for me, to an audience of the entire school? He was arrogant about everything: Quidditch, his family, money, his looks, his friends, his (surprising) intelligence and good marks. I hated him so much. He was against everything I stood for, and now I had to work with him. For an entire year!

I felt my eyes burn with tears as we made our way through the train. This was supposed to be _my year_. I was Head Girl and everything was supposed to go perfectly. But instead I would be spending the entire year with this…this…_toerag_, who wouldn't take anything seriously and would make my job that much harder. I hated him.

Trying to compose myself, I pushed the compartment door open, and looked around at the prefects waiting there. Remus took his seat amongst them, grinning, and Potter came to stand next to me. I took a step away.

I struggled through introductions and prefect duties, trying to ignore the smug bastard to my right. He threw in less than helpful interjections periodically and I tried not to snap at him in my usual manner. The prefects all looked slightly bewildered at our relationship, with his flirtatious remarks and my frosty comebacks. All except Remus, who sat smirking to himself for the whole half hour. I felt like dropping something slimy down his robes, but then remembered I was Head Girl, and that probably wasn't appropriate. Git.

**ooo**

The rest of the train ride passed with little complications and not much for me to do, but attempt to ignore Potter. He kept up a stream of chatter while accompanying me on patrols up and down the train. I felt relief and excitement when the train began to slow, and hurried back to our compartment, helping the girls pull down the trunks. We all grinned at each other, giddy at the thought of being back.

As Head Girl, I had to ride in the boats to the castle with the First Years. I climbed into a little dingy and grumbled audibly as James got in behind me.

"Seriously, Potter," I complained. "Find your own boat."

"All full," he told me happily, and pushed off into the lake. "Listen, Evans, now that I've got you all alone, and you can't run away from me, I think there are a few things we need to talk about."

I scooted away from him on the small wooden bench and crossed my arms.

"Oh come on, you're going to have to talk to me at some point." He laughed. "Listen, Evans, just admit that you have feelings for me and we can move on. Honestly, I could cut the sexual tension with a knife -"

I cut him off with a hard shove to the shoulder. Big mistake. The fact that we were in a small dinghy in the middle of a lake seemed to have left my mind, and my shove had more force behind it than I realised. James swayed over the edge of the boat, losing his balance and grabbing my shoulder for support. The boat tipped perilously and I tried to grab hold of the edge, but the momentum was too much. The boat held, suspended sideways for a moment then capsized, tipping us into the freezing water. I plunged down several feet, kicking hard as my shoes weighed me down. Panic filled me when I did not break through the surface and my fingers felt the cold water around me, searching for James. And then something wrapped itself around my legs. I shrieked underwater and bubbles erupted from my mouth as water filled my nose.

And then I was wrenched from the water and plonked back inside the boat, dripping and spluttering. In another second James was beside me and I caught a glimpse of a large tentacle disappearing underneath the water again. I continued to choke until James whacked me hard on the back and I coughed up half a lung. Then all fell silent, and I remembered the hundred or so First Years behind us. Bugger. What a great impression - the head boy and girl couldn't even be seated in a boat together.

"You're dead, Potter," I whispered, not letting myself turn to face him.

"Almost," he choked out. "And I'm sorry, but you were the one who pushed _me_ out of the boat. I'm blaming you for this one."

I fumed silently for the remainder of the trip.

When we finally arrived at the castle, Professor McGonagall was waiting for us. She eyed James and my dripping appearances and I could have sworn she rolled her eyes. "Give me strength," she murmured. "I _told_ Dumbledore that pairing you two up was going to be the death of me, but would he listen…" she muttered to herself, turning to face the first years.

"Come on," James muttered to me, holding out his wand and siphoning off some of the water. "Let's get in there before she starts yelling."

Once in the Great Hall and sitting at the Gryffindor table, I began to dry off and even managed to enjoy myself. The food as usual was spectacular, and the events of the day had worn me out. I was so tired I nearly fell asleep in my bread and butter pudding and Josie had to pull me to my feet in order to lead the first years back to Gryffindor tower.

I dragged myself up to our dormitory and crawled into bed, without bothering to change into pyjamas. And then I was asleep, before my head had even hit the pillow. Plotting revenge on Potter would have to wait until morning.

**ooo**

What the hell?

I rubbed my head and sat up, my bones aching. Dappled sunlight shone on my face and I blinked sleepily. What. The. Hell.

There was a snore next to me, and my head snapped round. James Potter lay on the grass next to me, sleeping soundly. Grass. Why were we sleeping on grass? I jumped to my feet then and patted myself down. Clothes, check. Purse, check. Wand…no. No wand.

"Potter!" I half screeched and nudged him with my toe. Ok, nudge may have been an understatement.

"Ow! Uh? What? What's happening?" He sat bolt upright, straightened his glasses and blinked at our surroundings. "Oh bugger."

"Your wand!" I tried to stop screeching. "Do you have your wand?"

He rummaged through his jacket and jeans pockets then shook his head.

"Merlin," I breathed. "Do you have any idea where we are? What's happening?"

"Hang on a second, Lily, just…calm down."

"Calm down?" I shot at him, my voice rising again. "How am I supposed to calm down exactly? Someone slipped me a sleeping potion last night, and then I wake up in the middle of a forest, with no wand and stuck with _you_."

"Ok, to be fair," he started, standing up and brushing leaves from his jeans, "I'll have you know I have an incredible sense of direction. I'm actually a very useful person to have around when you're stuck in the middle of a forest."

I just glared at him. The panic was being pushed aside by anger. This was so typical Potter. "Why are we in a forest?" I tried to keep my voice low and even. My hands had curled into balls and I was glaring up at him. He shifted slightly and ruffled his hair, looking sheepish.

"So, um, funny story…" He looked worried. I just glared. "Ok Lily, you need to calm down and trust me, ok?"

"Why the _hell_ would I trust you? Tell me what's going on! We are supposed to be at school, in class! I don't have my wand, and I'm…" I faltered. "I'm scared."

He took a step closer and I hissed at him. That made him stop in his tracks.

"There's this tradition."

When he didn't continue I pressed him for more. "What tradition?"

"Well it started hundreds of years ago. The Head boy and girl are taken in the middle of their first night back at school to the Forbidden Forest and have 24 hours to get back to the castle. If they made it back in that time limit, with no magic, they got some sort of prize."

"I've never heard of this tradition before." How many times had I read _Hogwarts: A History_? There was nothing in there about a stupid hazing tradition for the Head boy and girl.

"Well, no. I mean, it was all sort of underground. The teachers _knew_ about it, sure. They were the ones who awarded the prize at the end. Whatever the prize is…"

I tucked a lock of red hair behind my ear and tried to breathe evenly. I was going to be stuck with James Potter for 24 solid hours. I could handle that. I could survive…I just hoped he would survive as well. "So we're in the Forbidden Forest?"

He looked guilty. "Well, um…not exactly." He hesitated. "Ok don't get angry, I never expected to be Head Boy and when I arrived at school yesterday, I'd completely forgotten about the tradition otherwise I would have told you, Lils."

"It's _Lily_," I hissed. "If we're not in the Forbidden Forest, where are we?"

"Well, see that's the thing. When me and Sirius and Lupin –"

I cut him off there and smacked a hand to my forehead. Of course. This just reeked of the Marauders. "You're telling me this has something to do with _you lot_."

"Po-ten-tially," he said slowly.

"Tell. Me. Everything."

He took a step backwards from scary hysterical girl. "When Sirius and Remus and I heard about this tradition, we of course took it upon ourselves to takeover. So the first year we drugged the Head boy and girl, strapped them to our broomsticks, placed protective charms on them, and dropped them in the Forbidden Forest."

I ignored the fact that Potter and his cronies were able to perform protective charms in their first year when I had only read about them. "Go on."

"Well, in our second year, we decided to, um, _tweak_ the tradition a bit. Instead of dropping them in the Forbidden Forest we took them a bit further. We left them a purse-full of money, some clean undies, two toothbrushes and a note saying they had a week to get back. I mean, it was totally safe, if anything remotely bad happened, the protective charms would alert the school at once and someone would immediately be there to rescue them. It really wasn't a big deal. McGonagall wasn't too pleased when she found out, but luckily Dumbledore found it amusing so the tradition continued."

I closed my mouth and swallowed. Remembering the purse still slung across my shoulders, I undid the clasp and rummaged around inside. A pair of boxer briefs, which I dropped in disgust on the forest floor, a pair of spotty knickers, two toothbrushes, a wad of muggle money and a purse of galleons and a piece of parchment. I unfolded it and skimmed the words.

_Dear James and Lily,_

_By now you must be wondering where you are. Well, we're not going to give you any exact details, but have heard that Wales is beautiful at this time of year. _

_Your mission, if you choose to accept it: _

_You have one week to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You may not use magic, but rely on your charm and wits. If you achieve this goal, then your prize will make the Prefect's Bathroom look like one of the public loos at Central Station._

_Good Luck._

_P.S. If at any time you need to be rescued, clearly say _Eripio_. _

I handed the note to James and watched as he mouthed "Wales" incredulously. "How the bloody hell are we going to get back from _Wales_?"

"James," I said, trying to keep my voice even. "Where is Hogwarts, exactly?"

"Um, up North somewhere."

"Yes, but where _exactly _is it? It's not on any maps."

"Huh."

Ok. Breathe. I counted to ten in my head. It didn't work. So that's when I removed my shoe and pelted it at his head.

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**Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you like it and want to see more! xx**


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